Bull$hit Advice from “Would-Be Writers”
A recent conversation I had with an old coworker of mine left me feeling uneasy. Tim has always wanted to start a creative writing project and last week he finally decided to commit to writing something. Unfortunately Tim didn’t know where to begin, so he did some online research. He asked me, “Have you ever heard of the snowflake method?”
… My response was simply, “Snowflake method? WTF is that?”
If you perform a google search for the ‘snowflake method’ you’re directed to a ‘surface credible’ website running a legitimate business. They claim to have invented a scientific method that will solve all your motivational and creative writing problems.
I say, codswallop!
As a semi-novice writer, I know the dangers associated with cash-grab scams as I’ve nearly been suckered into them myself. If you type into google ‘how to write a novel’ the further down you search, the more sure-fire methods, systems, paradigms, programmes, classes, books and lessons you’ll find. It’s easy to want to buy them as well, because they often feel like the CURE to your writer’s block. Anyone seeking a magic spell to fix their craft will be drawn to these sleazy salespeople. Surely they cannot ALL be the best writing methods?
No.
The only writing advice you need, is to pick up a goddamned pen!
Take it from someone who has read well over 12 dozen books on the topic. Unless you’re grammatically inept, any fool can learn to write if he tries. I’d also like to point out as I have in the past, that buying books about writing does not = writing. Some things that are useful are a dictionary, thesaurus, grammar guide, or a tutor who has several years experience with the craft. Having professionals edit your work is an invaluable experience. I’d also listen to Stephen King’s recommendation and pick up a copy of Strunk and White’s The Elements of Style. I picked up this book again after watching it collect dust on my shelf and it’s startling how many grammar rules I’ve forgotten or neglected.
I’m not here to tell you that these so-called ‘magic methods’ won’t help you. They may bring some writers out of the slum they’re in. If it works for you and you’re a better writer because of it, who am I to judge? I will say that you need to be wary of them. Check out their credentials. Do your research before you plug in a credit card number. Most of these website authors have books on the market that I’ve never even heard of. Even more unsettling is how poorly their novels sold on the market. Why then, should I pay $59.99 for your writer’s seminar?
In an effort to not sound hypocritical, the reason I started this website was for people to learn from my mistakes. I haven’t had my “big success story” but that won’t stop me from writing about the craft. I’d be a real asshole though if I charged you all for what little experience I do have. Unless I became a bestselling author, (LOL) I’ll never be so arrogant as to claim I’ve invented the ‘perfect method’ for budding authors, then have the cojones to make them pay for it.
Please… if anything, pick up a book on the writers craft by CREDIBLE and SEASONED authors. Both Tori and I have professed our love of Stephen King’s On Writing. Other useful books are biographies of famous authors, or books that interview/outline their success stories.
The greatest thing Tim or anyone else could do, is to read a lot and write a lot. It starts by picking up a pen and just doing the work. The only method you’ll find that works for you, is one you’ve invented for yourself through experience.
A few more thoughts “On Writing”
Tori speaking.
A few months back Dan shared his thoughts of Stephen King’s On Writing. He has since then shared the book with me, and it’s impacted me in such a way that I can’t help but say a few things myself.
So, On Writing.
This is actually my first time reading a Stephen King novel. I’ve read The Body and dabbled into The Dark Tower (minutely), but I would consider this my first exposure to the author. I was never particular of King purely out of how mainstream he is (I’ve never been one for fads … in my childhood leastways), but I always intended to delve into his stuff someday. I suppose it makes sense that it would have to be one of my friends to get one of King’s books in my hand, but I can certainly say I’ll need no more convincing again (I’m writing this after having read Carrie).
First off, for those who’ve never been exposed to Stephen King’s work, I’d say this is an ideal place to start. On Writing is book-ended by an autobiography that details King’s life: the highs, lows and wisdom (particularly in terms of writing). When reading this I got an overwhelming sense of fraternity; I got to know the writer before the writing. What I found in these pages was a man I share much in common with, from the throes of student employment to the love of writing.
The actual “on writing” portion of the book is a pleasure to read. There were plenty of enlightening tips, though I found that most of what King talks about is sort of common sense (from what I know, that is). But what Stephen does so well is interact with the reader in a way that makes them feel like they’re sitting down for an interview in his study, so much that you might feel a lump in your throat when you arrive at the more intimate reflections of writing in the On Living portion of the book. I’ve never read any sort of “how to” books, but I gander that few of them are as casual as this – as real. King is very real with the reader.
On Writing raises the tried and true idea that writing isn’t just about knowing how to do it, nor of devoting time to it, but to live, plain and simple. In the past few months I found myself heavily inspired while reading this book; trying new things, writing sorts of stories that I never had before, and it was gushing with heart and soul. That’s what this book does to the aspiring artist: it makes them feel capable – makes them turn the grime of everyday life into something extraordinary.
If there’s one thing anybody can walk away from On Writing with, it’s a better understanding of the legendary author that is Stephen King … and the reassuring thought of how much he is just like every one of us.
-Tori Domay
On Writing
On Writing by Stephen King
What I loved so much about this book was Stephen King’s candid approach to the writer’s craft. King’s On Writing isn’t your usual ‘how to’ manual about writing. The first half of the book acts as a memoir and biography about King’s life.
In the book he addresses his addictions to drugs, alcohol, and the effects they had on his family life. What I especially loved about these chapters, was how King debunks the notion that writer’s are more talented when they are under the influence of abusive substances. In fact, King explains how they were ruining his life.
The second half of the book brings us into the day in the life of King’s writing practice, and he breaks down the stereotypes of what most writers talk about when they discuss their own craft. Writing isn’t about using fancy formulas, paradigms, or charts that make a good plot. It’s simply about writing something until it’s finished, and then rewriting it. You have to set goals for each day, and reach them. This is what King preaches, and it’s an awesome ‘in your face’ look at what it really takes to be a writer.
If you want a quick read, that gets you motivated, this is the book for you.
I’ll end with one of my favourite quotes from this book, that I think resonates with every last one of us.
“If you don’t have the time to read, you don’t have the time or the tools to write.” - Stephen King
To find out more about Stephen King and his work, visit his website:
Don’t let your STORY PLOT become your BURIAL PLOT.
One of the biggest cardinal sins any writer can commit, is becoming too emotionally dependant on artistic perfection.
I’ll admit, there is a certain ‘romance’ about being an eccentric artist; to be obsessed over your craft, and consumed by a desire to make the next ‘great work of art’. Everyone who is creative has had this thought at one point or another.
However, there is a signifigant flaw in this ideology. At what cost is an artist willing to be consumed by his or her depression? In his book On Writing, Stephen King explains how his addiction to drugs and alchohol consumed his life. His wife gave him an ultimatum. King made the wise choice, and decided to clean himself up. Not for his craft, but for his family, and his emotional health. No artist should punish themselves, or partake in mind-altering drug induced stupers to make ‘great art’.
A healthy writer is a good writer.
When I read the final letter author Virigina Woolf wrote to her husband, (before filling her coat pockets with stones, and drowing herself in the river) I find absolutely no ‘romance’ about being depressed.
“Dearest, I feel certain that I am going mad again. I feel we can’t go through another of those terrible times. And I shan’t recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can’t concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don’t think two people could have been happier ’til this terrible disease came. I can’t fight any longer.
I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can’t even write this properly. I can’t read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that – everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can’t go on spoiling your life any longer. I don’t think two people could have been happier than we have been. V”
There is nothing beautiful about being unhealthy.
If you have let your craft consume your health, and depribe you of the things in life that make you happy, seek immediate remedy.
There have been many times where I thought my story would get the best of me. I suppose part of the writer’s craft is to worry about that sort of thing, but for me, there is a marginal difference between worrying about plot, and having a panic attack about it.
Don’t become lost in a sea of story structure. It’s very easy to become tangled in a web of ideas. One thing I’ve found, is that many story structure books neglect to tell you about the downside of ‘over-planning’. They don’t discuss the emotional impact of throwing your heart and soul onto the blank page.
Now, I’m sorry to tell you this writers, but I’m about to turn your lessons and understanding on the topic completely upside down.
Don’t worry about structure until you’ve written it.
I’ve had to learn this the hard way. I spent a good 6 years worrying about whether or not people would like my story. Whether or not I’ll ever ‘make it’ in this business. During this time, if I had spent my energy concentrating on fixing my grammar, or actually completing something, I would have saved myself years of emotional baggage.
"Lost in Structured Writing" - by D. Pike
I leave you now with two quotes that remind me not to be so hard on myself, and to concentrate on writing, rather than worrying.
“In order to write about life, first you must live it!” – Earnest Hemmingway
and finally,
“Nothing is so fatiguiging as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task.” – William James
There is nothing worse than having never finished a project. Just pick up whatever story you’ve started and finish it. Don’t worry if it’s going to be good or bad. Just DO IT. GET IT DONE!
You’ll notice a very large weight lift from your soul.
Don’t be Virigina Woolf. She let the pressure of success and completing the next great work of art weigh her down like the stones in her coat pockets. She should have saught medical help, rather than take matters into her own hands.
If you suffer from mental illness in this way, pick up a phone, and call someone for help. There is no shame in doing this. All great writers have suffered this, but the greatest writers (in my opinion) are those who seek help when they need it most.
The Great Escape – Not Just a Movie!
Writers could learn a thing or two from the prisoners in the 1963 film The Great Escape directed by John Sturges. All of us need to learn to be great escape artists.
One of the most difficult tasks that I’ve faced as a writer, is finding a balance between time for others, and time for my writing. Friends and family start to look at you funny when you tell them how you can’t hang out or go anywhere, “I have to do some writing.”
“You already wrote once this week” one family member may whine, as if writing once a week was all we needed.
You aren’t being selfish when you take time for yourself, just as you aren’t being selfish to your inner writer when you decide to take time to be with other people. The importance is a balance.
Roald Dahl, author of many famous children’s books such as Matilda, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and James and the Giant Peach would retreat to a writing hut in his backyard for many hours of the day. The windows were blacked out, and he demanded not to be disturbed while in his ‘sanctuary’. However, once he had finished writing for the day, he would emerge from his retreat, and spend time with his family.
Dahl in his "Writing Hut" - Photo Courtesy of http://www.bbc.co.uk
Other people give us energy. They are refreshing, and can help us emerge from terrible writer’s blocks. The point is to not let people take all of your time. Julia Cameron, author of The Artist’s Way (A book I cannot recommend enough for creative recovery) suggests to take one day a week, in which you practice an ‘artist’s date’. One day that’s all yours to explore an old shop, to go see a movie, or to take a walk through a park. The point is that this day is set aside for you, and you alone.
One of my favourite authors Stephen King, marches himself up to his office everyday. Once he shuts the door, King claims,
“The closed door is your way of telling the world and yourself that you mean business; you have made a serious commitment to write and intend to walk the walk as well as talk the talk.”
Stephen King, On Writing
Then however, King suggests that once you’re done your first draft, it’s important to open the door, letting the energy of others flow into your work. The point is finding a balance.
I know that sometimes, it feels like you have to crawl on your hands and knees for miles just to get some time to yourself, especially if you are a mother, or work a full time job to support a family,
The Shawshank Redemption
but just think of how great it’ll feel once you taste the sweet victory of freedom.
So don’t be afraid to tell people you’re off limits for a few hours. There is always a power button for your cellphone. There is always a switch or a way to unplug your internet. Sometimes we have to be great escape artists, and high-tail it away from others keeping us from our blank page.
… and another thing.
Another useful Stephen King interview! Definitely worth a watch!
How many pages of writing have you done today?
No time to read, no time to write.
One of my favorite pieces of advice from any writer comes from Mr. Stephen King. Here’s a short 1:13 video that’s worth a quick watch.
Have you read a chapter of a book today?
